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| User: | arsenicandanise (123322) |
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| Name: | Severus Snape | |||||||||
| Bio: | Life can be hard. Severus learned that at a very early age. His father worked odd jobs, always labor, to keep them fed and in that horrific little hovel in Manchester, but it was the most he did. The man, muggle as they came, was bitter and resentful, always willing to explain how under-appreciated he was. He felt the world was against him, but it was the drinking. Always the drinking. His mother wasn't any better. She was an enabler. Anyone who saw Eileen felt instantly sorry for her, she was the sweet little martyr, the wife who tried as hard as she could to hold together her family but she had a power most of them didn't know. She could have ended it, she was a witch. She stayed because she wanted to and that was the most heart wrenching of all, because through all the beatings Severus saw her go through or even the assaults he suffered at Tobias' hands, she stayed. He meant more to her than her son. Tobias and Eileen were the family. Severus was the unfortunate outcome of their relationship and, for all he knew, who was to blame for all of the pain that went on. Still, there was a bright guiding light. Lily Evans, the cutest, sweetest, most innocent thing he'd ever seen. She lived down the street. He always knew when she was about, her bright red hair flashed even under the grey sky. She had friends but there was something special about her, Severus could feel it. It was the same thing special about him and his mother. It began as a small obsession, watching the girl through the window. He'd arrange to do his outdoor chores when she was out, so he could see her closer or hear her voice, he’d stare at her over the dodgy wooden fence about his family home. Eventually she spoke to him. He found her perfect and judged normality by those little fantasies he had about what it must have been like at Lily's home. It only made his look worse and him? More a freak than ever. But it didn't matter, because, of all the local children, she was the one who talked to him. She didn't laugh, she didn't call him names, she didn't throw stones. Then it happened. Puberty approached and the world grew crazed. Odd things happened around them and he discovered that he was indeed better than those around him. It didn't matter than his father was a tyrant or his mother something weak and pitiful, when their letters arrived. He had so much to look forward to and the first few years, though daunting and difficult as he adapted to Slytherin house and their 'pureblood' policy, were pleasant enough. But things never really worked out for him. As he tried to make himself seen and, to a degree accomplished just that, it didn't sit right with Lily and he lost her. It was hard to ignore the jeers before from his house mates and harder yet to not listen to their suggestions now. She only wanted him because no one else did, some said. Others told him that she pitied him, that it was her soft-hearted muggle duty to make nice. He hurt so badly that it was a convenient excuse. She'd never seen how he felt, she'd never acknowledged it. She'd never been interested at all. But what was love anyhow? It made his mother stupid, it made everyone stupid. He'd found power and fear, he was a very accomplished young wizard and so long as no one dared to get near enough, he'd never have to really feel anything at all. Alas, it was only a story to keep himself warm at night. The first War came, like many said it would, and within a few years, Severus had dug himself into a hole so deep that he knew he’d never climb out. He belonged to the Dark Lord through and through, but his loyalty still depended on that one fact, that he was alone and still embittered. So long as Evans had Potter and his child, there was no room for him, so in a desperate plea he’d offered a scrap of an overheard prophecy and urged Voldemort to believe it was about the Potters newborn son. This, he was sure, would destroy that ‘holy’ covenant and Lily would be his own again, but the Dark Lord saw it differently. Lily wouldn’t stand down and he wouldn’t put in the effort to spare her, so she was destroyed along with her and James’ legacy. Severus hadn’t gotten his unicorn. He’d lost his only source of happily. Broken, he’d dragged himself to the only person he felt would listen or have him and his life changed. The life of a double-agent was appealing and Severus played his part well. Too well, in fact. He watched over the miraculously surviving youth that was the one thing he felt more spite for than anything else in Lily’s memory and otherwise risked his life and limb in a subconscious desire to receive a hero’s death, but again his expectations fell short and his life was taken hastily by the Dark Lord in a moment of personal blindness. Of course, his death was seen as one of a hero but he’d not thrown himself into the fire and ultimately is ashamed of it. Being brought through the veil was a chance at another life, one this time where he might have the experience and retrospect to not do something foolish. Another disappointment. His unicorn was given life just the same… but so was her beau. So, the cycle repeats itself. Another foolish cause, dangerous and self-destructive, and more sorrow at losing her twice, but he’d never really had her, had he? Just the same, he wouldn’t see the Potters die again… though snuffing James does cross his mind. The Dark Lord had proved how expendable his loyal were and Severus has taken it very personally, returning to the life he knew before, that of a double agent. Again he’d see Voldemort destroyed, though preferably alive this time. | |||||||||
| Friends: |
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| Mutual Friends: | 1: arsenicandanise | |||||||||
| Also Friend of: | 28: amysophiab, bishopp, bundyk, cor_leonis_x, darkestdreams, evance, every1lovesfrnk, hannahbannana, imber_renatus, isabellacross, lovelylily, malfoyscores, mcgonagall_min, medousa, miss_fortune, mothermolly, perepercival, praisethesorrow, ravenflieshigh, renata_nox, sadistica, serpent_goddess, serpentinelord, teadly, tenebraregno, unclealphard, venant, vernon | |||||||||
| Member of: | 3: backgrounds, maleficium, maleficiumooc | |||||||||
| Account type: | Free Patient | |||||||||
